Growing up my favorite cookie was an M&M cookie. You know, the sugar cookies studded with M&M’s that you buy for $3.99 at Ralphs? Yep, those were the ones. We didn’t get them very often because they were expensive. Well, $3.99 isn’t a ton of money. But when you eat like my brother and I did, those things were lucky if they even made it in the front door.
I don’t make M&M cookies at home though. The only reason; I will eat them all. They are my weakness. My guilty pleasure. My comfort dessert. M&M’s and Peanut M&M’s are my favorite candy. I am just a sucker for anything with them in it. 2 years ago on Christmas my sister-in-law gave my bro-in-law a huge bag of peanut M&M’s in his stocking. Guess how long they lasted? Less then 2 days. Yep, I ate my brother-in-law’s Christmas present in less then 48 hours. Moral of the story: You can’t leave me alone with M&M products.
2/3 cup butter
1 1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 cup green m&m’s
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray non stick spray in a 13×9 inch glass dish.
In a small bowl combine the flour, egg, baking soda.
Mix the butter and sugar together with a hand mixer or stand mixer. Add in the egg, mix well. Then add in the vanilla extract.
Mix in the M&M’s into the batter. Pour the batter into the glass dish and bake for 30-35 minutes. Until the top is golden brown. Allow to cool to room temperature then cut into bars.
A little over 2 months ago we found out we had a miscarriage. The type of miscarriage we had is called a blighted ovum. I received so many responses that were so encouraging. I also received a few responses from women who were going through the same thing around the same time. I am so sorry for the pain you have gone through as well, it’s awful, I know!!! I am glad I shared about the miscarriage on here. But I think I need to update you, just in case you are wondering :)
I had the d&c (the surgery to remove the remaining tissue) on January 26th. Everything went really well. Some people have pain for weeks following the surgery. I only had pain for a day or 2. I decided to find some blogs about how to loose the weight after a d&c. I was pregnant, so I gained weight. And unfortunately I gained way too much because I felt so sick and the only thing that somewhat helped the nauseousness was carbs. Good old complex unhealthy carbs. I gained 10 pounds in 2 months, ridiculous, but oh well. 2 weeks after the d&c I got the stomach flu. Well, if that isn’t a weight loss plan, I don’t know what is. That helped me dropped 5 lbs, immediately. Since then I have started training for a half marathon which is getting me back in shape. In case you think training for something will help you loose weight, think again. You are ravenously hungry most of the time, FYI. Yes, your cardio and muscles are toned and healthy, you just might not loose those extra 3 lbs you were hoping too.
Within 2 weeks of the surgery my body started to feel normal again. The pregnancy symptoms started to go away and I was feeling like myself. I was so excited to have energy to exercise, cook, bake, get up in the morning. It was great. But of course I still had the little lingering thought that in August we won’t have our baby. As the weeks have progressed the hurt isn’t as strong. But there are random reminders of what we went through, and when those reminds come up, I am taken back for just a few moments. I take a minute to make sure I hold my composure and then I move on. I don’t want this to cripple us. And it hasn’t.
My body is 100% back to normal and hopefully in the next few months we will be able to get pregnant again. My doctor kept reminding me that we aren’t dealing with infertility (I guess I looked worried about it, but I wasn’t). We had a miscarriage, which sucks. But it doesn’t equal infertility. So we need to remember that and not get stressed that we won’t be able to get pregnant quickly again. As great as it would be to get pregnant immediately again, I understand the reality. We are hopeful it will happen quickly, but realistic that sometimes this takes time. And that is okay.
I would lie if I said we weren’t nervous about a future pregnancy. We are nervous we will miscarry again and have to experience this all over again. And we might. But we have decided we won’t let that prevent us from trying. We will adopt one day too. Adoption has been put heavily on my heart and I can’t wait to do it one day. So if pregnancy doesn’t work for the first one, hopefully adoption will. In any case, we will have kids at some point and we are so excited for that day. We will be married 6 years in June, and hope that by our 7 year anniversary we will have a baby. In the meantime we are praying for our future family and looking forward to what God has in store for us…