I had a crappy day Friday. I got some lame news on Thursday from my doctor and I thought I would be able to shake it by Friday, NOPE! I am comfortable talking about, well, everything. Ask my friends, they’ll vouch. So I don’t mind exposing some of my life on my blog. There is much more to Julia then food. I mean, barely, but there is.

A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with Grave’s Disease, a form of hyperthyroidism. The doctor advised us to not try to have kids until my thyroid problem went into remission. Which he predicted would take about 6 months, then wait a few more months just to be safe. Okay, no problem. Oh wait, that is a problem, we were wanting to have kids, then, not a year from then. But, we waited. In the fall of 2009 we got pregnant. And in January 2010 we miscarried. I have blogged about it a little on here and have received such positive support, THANK YOU! April was our expected time to be able to start ‘trying’ again. Okay, I seriously hate that term ‘trying’ but I don’t know how else to say it. In case you haven’t looked at a calendar in a few weeks, we are smack dab in the middle of April, sweet. We were pumped!

Because of Grave’s Disease pregnancy can be a bit tricky, if the disease isn’t under control. But mine is under control, so it shouldn’t be a problem (the miscarriage wasn’t related to grave’s Disease, it just happened to happen). I scheduled an appointment with my endocronologist, just to make sure my body was 100% healthy and capable of harboring a healthy pregnancy. Blood tests revealed my thyroid levels were off. Not crazy out of control like they had been before, but not good either. Cuss word cuss word cuss word. The miscarriage is probably what threw my body out of whack because of all the crazy hormones that happen during pregnancy.

So doc, what does this mean about having kids?
Like how long do you think we will have to wait?

And that’s it, that’s the answer I have. So much for April being our month of ‘new beginnings.’ I cried. I moped. I am still moping. I can’t shake it. I think I can’t shake it because it is so freaking frustrating. On so many levels there is frustration. It makes me want to scream! I hate disease.

I declared that my mood would be revived if I could make a batch of cookies. So Saturday morning I woke up, drank my coffee, and started the cookies. When they were done I was not feeling as deflated. So, I ventured away from cookies into cake. The loafcake went into the oven and I headed out for my morning run. I came home 50 minutes later to the most insanely delicious scent of Thanksgiving and Christmas. The spice flavors really remind you of fall and the holiday season. And those smells will perk up anyone’s mood. My entire house was just infiltrated with the sweet and spicy aroma of cloves and molasses. With a slight hint of butter. YUM! Jon woke up to this smell and it immediately put a smile on his sleepy face.

To serve this cake I decided it would be AMAZING with a scoop of apple pie filling and then a dollop of cinnamon whip cream. But I didn’t have ingredients to make either of those 2 things. Which just means I will be making this again, very soon, with those additions.

And with the completion of this marvelous cake, my mood perked up a bit more! :)

Recipe Adapted from Baking and Books

Makes 1 loaf
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2/3 cup milk (I used whole milk)
3 tablespoons molasses
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F. Generously grease a 9-by-5 inch loaf pan, line the bottom of the pan with parchment paper.

Combine the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl, and stir with a fork to mix.

In a large bowl, beat the butter with a mixer at high speed until light and fluffy. Add the sugars and beat to combine the ingredients well. Add the eggs, one at a time, and continue mixing until the mixture is light, fluffy and smooth. 1 to 2 minutes. Stop several times to scrape down the bowl.

Add the flour mixture and the milk alternately starting and ending with the flour, beating at low speed after each addition.

Scoop out about half of the batter into a medium bowl, and add the molasses, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground cloves. Stir with a wooden spoon mix everything into the batter well.

Add both batters to the pan, thin layers at a time, alternating between the plain and spiced batters. Run a knife through the batter to swirl the batters together.
*I started with the plain batter, then spiced, plain, spiced, plain, spice.

Bake at 350 degrees F for about 1 hour, until the cake is golden brown and a wooden skewer inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack for about 10 minutes. Use a table knife to loosen the cake from the sides of the pan.

Then turn out the cake onto a wire rack or a plate, remove the paper carefully, and cool completely, top side up.

Once cooled, slice and serve.